How to use love languages for better sex

Here at Roam we believe it’s always important to be in tune with your sex life. One of the most common reasons the spark may not always be as bright is because you’re not communicating properly with your partner. If you’re perhaps feeling frustrated with how it’s going down (or maybe NOT going down), it could be as simple as delving into your love language to spice things up again.



is someone's overall desire for anything sexual, and it can be affected by biological, psychological and social factors.


If the term ‘love language’ is alien to you then listen up as we’re about to explain it all. Simply put, a love language is a way of expressing and receiving love in your day-to-day life, but we think you can take this into the bedroom to make sure bedroom play is as pleasurable as possible for whoever you’re choosing to get under the covers with.

It’s not uncommon for love to get lost in translation if you and your significant other have different love languages, so taking it back to basics and spending some time learning what turns you on outside of the bedroom is definitely going to help when it comes to getting down and dirty.

There are 5 love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts and physical touch. Remember, there’s no right or wrong but we’re going to break each one down and let you know how you can turn up the heat just by understanding what makes you and your significant tick. 

Words of affirmation

If words of affirmation is high on your love language ranking then all this means is that you highly value verbal acknowledgements of affection and appreciation. Someone telling you how they feel and being expressive with their words makes you feel seen, heard and understood. The link to sex here is that often when you’re feeling loved, valued and appreciated you’re also likely to feel horny. Making sure your partner knows this is key to keeping the fire alive in your relationship. If you’re not getting the verbal reassurance you need, this could lead to you feeling unappreciated and unseen which won’t make you feel like indulging in a bit of afternoon delight.

Quality time

Ever noticed that spending quality time with your other half helps gets you in the mood? This is because you feel important when your partner actively chooses to spend uninterrupted time with you as opposed to feeling like passing ships in the night. If you need undivided attention from your person without everyday distraction, then make sure you’re making time for date night so you feel connected and in sync. Sex aftercare is also important here - whether that’s spending 5 minutes cuddling and kissing afterwards, it’s the one-on-one element that makes you feel cherished, rather than a classic hug and roll to dash for a shower as soon as it’s over.

Acts of service

This love language is all about making your life easier and comes back down to the old-fashioned notion of actions speak louder than words. If you always put the bins out but they think ahead and do this for you to take one thing off your to do list, you feel like your time is cherished because they’re actively giving a helping hand. Sometimes something as small as changing the sheets to give you a fresh playground to get down in will mean the world and set you up for a steamy night of success. While this might seem like more of a transactional and unsexy love language, it’s more about the thoughtfulness and consideration involved.


Ever got excited or turned on from being given a gift? If so, then this love language will be a hot topic for you. We know the connotations of gifts can be perceived as shallow, but we all feel love in different ways and this is more about the careful selection and thought that goes into the gift buying as opposed to the material or monetary value of the item. Knowing your person is thinking about what YOU would like and going out of their way to make this happen is a sure-fire way of making you feel in the mood. Why not keep things spicy by including things you can both enjoy in the bedroom too.

Physical touch

This might be one of the most obvious love languages when it comes to sex but it makes sense that there is a direct link between Intimacy and being in the mood. A lack of regular physical touch can leave you feeling neglected and far from feeling hot under the collar. If you appreciate a little peck on the forehead, holding hands while watching a movie or a cuddle every morning then make this known. Keeping your non-sexual physical interactions healthy can often be a simple gateway to making your sex life feel friskier.

Whatever your love language it’s worth carving out some time to have an open and honest conversation about what’s going to help turn you on.

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