Edging Closer and Closer...

Edging describes the feeling of coming very close to orgasm (to the ‘brink’ or the ‘edge’, as the name goes), and then reducing sexual stimulation to avoid cumming. This ‘backing-off’ period can last as long as wanted or needed, ranging from several seconds to several minutes.

In its rawest form, the technique was developed by urologist James Semans (born 1910) with the aim of reducing premature ejaculation in men. Originally called the ‘stop-start’ method, it allowed men to pinpoint when exactly orgasm was going to happen and take a step back from there. It then developed as an act of sexual play and turned into what we know as edging.

Close to the edge

Edging can happen during both partnered sex and solo sex.

If you’re with someone else, one person stimulates the other sexually until that person comes close to orgasm. The key here is communication. If you’re the person edging, stay focused on how you’re feeling and communicate that with your partner. As you feel yourself coming closer to orgasm, try and resist the urge to give in to it. Instead, tell your partner that you’re close.

If you’re bringing someone else to the edge, at this stage you will change the pressure or the pace of what you’re doing to prevent orgasm for a little while longer.

Once you get good (and if you trust your multitasking) you can both edge at the same time.

If you’re alone, you can still make good use of edging and the rules are the exact same, except you’re in charge of yourself.

Get to know

Edging is an exciting, immersive, and mindful sexual experience which pushes you to remain in contact with your own body as well as your partner’s.

Aside from this, edging means you can have longer lasting sex, and it makes for a much more intense orgasm when you do decide to cum.

Often (although not always) it is easier for men to reach orgasm than it is for women. Edging bridges this gap, and lets you orgasm at the same time as your partner, if you choose to do so. Shared orgasms heighten intimacy and increase sexual fulfilment. It’s a win-win situation.

Can it ever be 'bad'?

Short answer: no. The main concern is that it causes epididymal hypertension, a fancy name for ‘blue balls’ which is when an erection lasts for a long time without orgasm. It can be a bit uncomfy, but it’s not too common and not very serious.

Hone your craft

Edging is a skill like any other! While it can be very intense and exciting, it also involves taking yourself away from the intensity of orgasm for a little while. It’s not unusual for your mind to wander, or to feel as though you’re focusing too much on the orgasm. If this happens, take a breath to re-centre, and focus on the physicality of the sensation. It might take time to get used to edging, but the hard work pays off.

With love and lube,

Roam x